Before you walk down the aisle and say “I do”

Here are the Top Five items for the two of you to discuss. Your life together will be much smoother if you understand each other and talk about these now.

Photo courtesy: Christopher Todd Studios

  1. Finances. Do you save or do you spend? Who will be responsible for your long term and short term goals? How do you feel about budgets and debt? Growing up how was money handled in your family?
  2. Conflicts: How did your family handle conflict: loud arguments or silent sulking? Are you a fighter or a “give in-er”? Does that work for you?
  3. The Home. Growing up who handled the household duties? Will you split those chores with your mate or will one person be responsible for cooking, laundry etc?
  4. The “G” Word. Are you of the same religion? How will you bridge the divide between faiths, between families, with children? Do you pursue an active spiritual connection? Must your mate? Must it be the same?
  5. Leisure. When you are not working how do you use your time? Must you both participate in the same recreation? Are you okay with your mate going out with his/her friends regularly? Do you like to go away together for weekends (see “finances”)

Photo: Joel Austell Studios

The highway of life can have its twists and turns.  We can’t help that.  But we can pave the way to a smooth marriage by talking about the journey before your trip down the aisle.  All the best wishes for your lives together.

Learn more about the author: Rabbi Arthur Rosenberg

Leave a Reply